Old lads.

I was up town today in Maitland. I call in to Coquun on my day off because Dan is a High Wizard of life and Leah is a Witch of the Spirit.

I sat at a big table on my own. Happy out. Dan came over and laid down his introductory kindness and retreated into the kitchen. 
Next thing up walks a woman who I later found out was Malaysian and she was absolutely gorgeous wearing a one piece floral dress beautiful long hair and she was flustered.
There were no seats left. Except unless I mean no problem if not but if you want to share this table with me then sure sit down let ye and take the weight off the floor.

She sat and I left her well alone. This woman would have men hitting on her round the clock so decency meant I'd not be chatty unless she decided after some time by assessing my moves and behaviours around Dan, my food, the day, etc , that I was safe. Men, FFS please realise that everyone is afraid of ye. And for very good reason.
After a while I'd passed the test and she said my drink looked good.  Ask Dan for water and you get an orange coloured cocktail with dried orange slices a bay leaf ice a straw all in a tall wine glass. It does look spesh. She got one too.
We talked for an hour at least. She was 32 and a very highly qualified Oncology specialist.
Long story short we had a great chat. She was very very stressed and I think I genuinely made her day better by listening and just applying learned knowledge.
It was like talking to a bunch of flowers she was that pretty. And I should know I talk to bunches of flowers all the time.
So after the big long chat anyway she looks deep into my eyes with her big brown beautiful yokes and says in all earnestness "You're like a wise old man".
O........................fuckin....................K.............then.

Anyway long story short it reminded me of the day I got cured of the Religion.

You should know this about me if our relationship is to be deeper going forward. I was raised an Irish Catholic. In a small town in Ireland called Roscommon.
That was the options. There were no other religions. I mean there were a couple of Prodestants about the place but when I say it was like having a few Peacocks in the town I'm not being bigoted. They did exist but weren't really to be taken seriously as a Religion. We had the fast track to proper real heaven. They were just messin.
Anyway after 18 years from birth of watching all of society and my parents bowing down to these priests I was well and truly convinced that this was alllll true. Not even convinced actually just swallowed it whole. No doubt.
Jesus will take away all pain and comfort your sinful piece of dirt soul. Just trust in him. No need for dealing with anything real. No need to figute out sexuality. No need for therapy. Just bury it and carry your cross like Jesus did. It makes for very warped people. And I was. I was dying inside but I was sweet as pie. Like Jesus.

Which way to go in life? I wanted to be a musician but I wasn't good enough to get gigs. Of course I'll work for Jesus father! The priests would side up to lads they thought might be good for the team. Do you think you might have a vocation?

Off to the seminary. Lasted two years and here's where it all unravelled.
We headed out in pairs every week to do social work. Myself and this huge Texan lad would take the bus to Leixlip to visit and old folks home.
In fairness we had some serious craic but harmless.
He'd pick one old person and chat to them for the hour. But me? Oh no. I worked the room. Going from one person to the next. Kneeling in front of their wheelchairs looking deep into their eyes and in a sugar sweet altar boy voice I'd say "How are you this week?"
And here it comes. The end of my life of belief.

One day I was doing my one knee rounds and I had hit maybe six old ones with the syrup and this old lad who had been watching me do this for weeks was next. I kneel down and in the fakest I belive in Jesus voice I said "And how are you this week?"
He looked me deep in the eyes and said, "Hey lad, we're old.............we're not fuckin stupid".
Never before or since have I heard a person from Texas laugh as hard.
But I knew right then. My religion and all others and I, had no real substance.