Try and like yourself

Well I guess that's that then. You never know until you go and sometimes after you go you wish you didn't went.
I knew a guy once that said,  "Give a man enough rope and he'll wish you'd taught him to fish".
How are we supposed to just carry on?
If you can find joy in there somewhere then all is not lost. Left to our own devices I reckon most of us would live off grid and enjoy our short lives.
Instead we're fed a solid diet of garbage daily. Mind numbing anaesthetic nonsense from faces that don't really have it sussed. Pushing unearthed garbage out at us from a tiny screen.
Once in a while 'Bingo!'  One face that holds clarity.
It just started to thunder here.
So many people in pain. So much pain.
The ones I love more than any are the self righteous ones.
People who have barely figured out what's happening in their own chest cavity and they judge others for not being as evolved. Puffer fish I calls em. Bless. Not even there themselves.
I used to smoke. I remember my last cigarette. It was my last day of school. I had no smokes. Asked a friend for one. Leaned against the front wall of the school looking back at it. I had not enjoyed one single day in school.
I swore that this was to be my last cigarette. Like coming out of prison. Like having survived something awful I wanted to mark it.
So now my life feels like that last scene of Shawshank Redemption.
"I find I'm so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it's the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain"
I came into this world with nothing and everything I have is a bonus.
Some people tell me they love me but leave. Others tell me they hate me but stay.
It's all the same. If I didn't like myself it would all hurt.