LETTER TO MY ACOUNTANT

Dear Karl,

I hope this email finds you well. I'll be in for the end of year appointment soon.

Please find attached Profit and Loss statement for busking on 07/06/2023 with banjo in Maitland between 10.30 am and 12.30 pm.

Expenses: $7 on a Salvos hat as I forgot my Sombrero.

Revenue: $58 and a St Patrick's Day badge from some chancer that had it in her handbag since march.

Also about 28 seductive smiles from auld wans, one big chat from Stephen who went to Dublin in 2003 and who's wife was Irish but she's dead since and he was the only one who volunteered to try the broom dance and everyone said he was so brave and the guy running the dance whispered "Well done buddy" to him afterwards. He misses her terribly but is glad they got back one more time together sorry I've no money on me because he was wearing his Trackkydaks with no pockets so off he went but came back with a tenner from the machine and gave me a nod mid reel.

Three elderly Chinese ladies gave me money I suspect the banjo sound like one of their own instruments and I always thought I had a sort of a Chinese look to me. China National Opera & Dance Drama Theater . Might be a gig there.

Also a chat from two woman one of which said "Smile" so I stopped and explained that I'd love to be able to grin like Sharon Shannon when she plays but it ends up looking like a scowl and that you'd be afraid I was going to gnaw the leg off you.

I haven't been playing long enough to confidently smile at the same time.

Also I have ripped jeans now like Maggie Carty so feeling fairly legit as all the great Trad heads can't afford pants sure. Séamus Ennis swore by them.

Also a big chat with Edrah Edrah Flynn about the craic and Jack and the Organic Feast crew and we talked for twenty minutes with her brother standing there saying nothing until I mentioned slashing tyres and wondered if you'd stab or slash and he was straight in with all the best ways to do that. A total pro. Did a Taffe course I believe.

And all the crew in wheelchairs flew past on their spin downtown and Mums and kids of course and one Indian father who guided his ten year old son to put a few quid in. Tried to hand it to me first but Dad said no the hat. Sweethearts.

Also the woman that keeps the Mall clean sat down to eat her sandwich and listen and three Magpies mugged her for it. One came in from behind.

Also I met Jo who's dad is Irish from Abbeyfeale and God love her I wanted to mind her she looked so Irish.

Never forget lads we're very unique and there's only two kinds of people in the world, those that are Irish and those that wish they were.

Also there was some lad about my age walking up and down the street talking business on his airpods frantically for the two hours. It could've been me. Dodged a bullet there.

You've been the best accountant I've ever had Karl and thank you for setting up that Cayman Islands account for me. Two more years ought to get it in the bag then it's limos and Peruvian Nostral Talc all the way,

Love to Mary,

Joe McManus.