What?

I got my hearing tested today. It's been coming for a while. I was nervous.  Forty years playing loud music and standing too close to big speakers.
Fran asked me some questions before we began. Do you have a pension card? (Ah fuck off Fran!)
No I don't.
Are you concerned that your hearing might be compromised? (Why would I be here FRAN!?)
Yes. It may be affected after years of gigs.
On a scale of one to ten where do you think your hearing is?
Maybe 5 or 6? (What's Fran short for anyhow?  Frankenstein?) (Jesus Joe you're a savage, settle will ya?)
I'm scared though.
Ok sit here and put these headphones on.
Bits wear down. I remember when I received my first pair of Spectaculators.
I couldn't belive the difference they made. I had been limping along doing my best with what I had left but WOW when I put them on and looked at the test card! Baby jesus miracle.
It reminded me of when I was a boy and my Grandmother would say "here you that has young eyes, thread this needle will you please?".
I couldn't understand how Granny couldn't see it. It was CRYSTAL clear. But now? Not so much.

Anyway the God Of Guitar himself Tommy Emmanuel wears hearing aids. Had some condition in childhood. Always wore the aids. So no biggie. If hearing aids were ok by Tommy then I'd be fine.
Like when your mother would shame you into doing something by telling you your cousin could do it without crying.

Anyway. Left ear. Right ear. Beep beep fading beep. Click the button when you can hear the beep. Beep. Beep.
I was so fucking focused. I knew it would be bad but I was going down swinging.  FUCKALLAYALL!

Ok job done. Mr McManus.
Let me just add everything up.
Your hearing is perfect. 10 out of 10. Thank you Fran. Thank you. I love you Fran. I will always love you.